Idiot Ballroom Podcast Archive

Episode 26

2009-06-14T14:48:00.000-05:00

-- Jose from Aruba leaves very ambiguous IMs.

-- Are the crunchberries in season this time of years?

-- Japanese novels printed on toilet paper. Genius at work.

-- Uh it's raining. You mind if I bail on this community service? Oh you do. How bout we go around the corner and I punch you in the face?

-- Crazy cat stories.

-- He's from New York. Of course he's going to drop the F-bomb.

Episode 25

2009-06-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

-- She's a real firecracker!

-- How many times have we said the 'junk' is off limits

-- Keith would rather eat fetal pig testicles than wax beans.

-- Knife fight #56, right in our backyard. Stay classy, St. Louis.

-- Chinese man was acting selfish, so he pushed him off a bridge

-- Our weekly warning about monkeys. This one from Japan's Aomori Prefecture, Shimokita Peninsula

-- What is the unsaid rule about blessing someone after multiple sneezes? We're going to ask Abby.

Episode 24

2009-05-31T14:45:00.000-05:00

Keith went down to Florida to check out the vortex of all that is f-ed up. Mike does a semi-live show. Rehashes some of the "highlights" of past shows.

Episode 23

2009-05-22T23:59:00.003-05:00

Episode23 version2.0

-- Crabs in the toilet.

-- Big Mama Hot Pickled Sausage... yummy.

-- Chesus. Yes. Chesus.

-- How to avoid getting arrested for shoplifting? Throw a baby.

-- Old lady beats her old man for cheating on her.

-- That bird kept on squawking so I took a bat to it's head. It was driving me cuckoo.

-- Is that a banana in your pocket or are you robbing me?

-- What do people in Uruguay call themselves? Uruguayans?

-- Asparagus is expensive.

Episode 22

2009-05-08T23:59:00.002-05:00

It's a family affair during movie night. -- Maybe it's not a wise idea to add 4 inches to your penis. -- Chinese boss gets his junk bitten off in a car -- DARE to keep cops off drugs. -- Thank goodness it's a snake head in my dinner. -- Cyclist gets killed by a lady painting her fingernails... but she was wearing a helmet -- St. Louis has a "feces bandit" on the loose and the Hardy Boys break this case wide open -- If the rat mascot gropes you, then "cha ching cha ching".

Episode 21

2009-05-01T23:59:00.003-05:00

Memphis Mike hooked us up with what he's been doing the last couple months.... Check out this rad band called Rainy Day Manual! -- Driving around the grocery store on your 'little rascal' and drinking blackberry wine and eating candy bars -- Bring your dog in the house, it's getting kind of windy -- Oregon, I love you dearly... but it's stinks around here -- Customer service at Radio Shack = a punch in the face -- "Grandma? Do you wanna die?" -- Encyclopedia Brown saves the day. -- Robots will destroy the human race.

Episode 20

2009-04-24T23:59:00.002-05:00

It's our first official, non-beta show. And it shows... some technical glitches, but what the hell, right? Synopsis:

-A bag of poo.

-Paralyzed from her "nipples to her toes". Because of turbulence?

-Don't you love mommy? How about I kill you motherf%@#ers!?!

-The power of education.

-Try to steal a car and a sheriff's deputy is sitting inside. That's a pants soiling.

-Crocodiles on a plane.

-Too incompetent to stand trial. What does "incompetent" mean? What's a trial?

-Just because the guy has a sword and wears a ski mask, doesn't make him a ninja.

Episode 19

2009-04-18T23:59:00.002-05:00

Synopsis:

-- An existential conversation about the need for alligators?

-- Snakes on a plane.

--IB lays the law down: "No more biting junk!"

--Lonely polar bears

--We love you, Australia, but we won't be visiting any time soon.

--Hey, London, this bag of poo is for you.

-- If the cops find a "wet spot" then that's a jailing.

-- DUI doesn't just mean drinking.

--Watch out for that "inner cannibal", it gets the best of all us.

Episode 18

2009-04-11T23:59:00.002-05:00

The WTF episode. The world is going to hell in a hand basket 'fer sure'. -- Social Networking etiquette discussed. Bottom line, don't be posting pics of your friends who you haven't talked to in 15 years. Especially if the subject is taboo. Not cool -- That is not a spicy meatball, dude who tried to cut off his fiance's finger in Philly -- Florida gets the IB treatment. Florida is the new "California"-- Showing up to a wake with a beer can in your hand, is grounds for a beating. -- Poland... what the hell? A guy that bites and swallows his "best friend's" penis. ABSOLUTELY NOT COOL!!!

Episode 17

2009-03-29T23:59:00.002-05:00

Keith and Mike broadcasts from within the same location for the first time in Idiot Ballroom's existence, but in the excitement and drunken stupor they forgot to record the first 10 minutes of the show. Don't worry, Florida, your white trash status is still intact.--Atomic bomb survivor, now that you survived the devastation at Hiroshima, what are you going to do? "I'm going home to Nagasaki." -- It is just wrong to punch a police horse -- Alaska, murder and aliens -- Keith's wife and friend in the drunk IMs to the show open the floodgate for "hot pocket" droppings -- Donald Swallow lost his hands 20 years ago. Does that stop him from committing sexual assault? Nope -- Apparently, in Australia they're just getting America's reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard. "Hooning" runs rampant.

Episode 16

2009-03-21T23:59:00.002-05:00

Episode 16. Cyrus vs. Radiohead. All you're entitled to is a slap across the face--What's up with Japan? Can I get a one way ticket to Aokigahara forest. -- The parapalegic man who regains his ability to walk from a spider bite. Happy ending? No. -- How about a Ghandi Burger with those Obama Fingers?--It's a smackdown in an Oklahoma prison... but in the Texas correctional system that got it pretty easy.--In Saint Louis? Watch out for the Feces Bandit.

Episode 15

2009-03-14T23:59:00.002-05:00

Episode 15 v2.0
Heed this warning: The monkeys are planning a revolt. When you least expect it, they will attack. How will you prevent them?
Keith & Mike also ask, "Who's the boss?"
Also discussed:
Transition from the "p bomb" to "hot pocket". Fight Club in a mentally disabled school. Public shool education tricks Mike into believing the myth about the Great Wall China as seen from outerspace. Oh and by the way, if you're on the wall don't take any short cuts. The magic bullet theory revisited, but throw some mice into the mix.

Episode 14

2009-02-28T23:59:00.002-06:00

Episode 14.
The guys ask the tough questions and discuss the issues.
Experimental treatment for TMD? Is menacing subjective? If you suffer from panic disorders, then you probably shouldn't be able to use a gun at your job. Who is this dude that is posting the greatest Craigslists ever? The knife fight is back. If you're a vet of the Iraqi war, are you allowed to steal sweets? (insert M&Ms commercial here). What could a toothless guy possibly want with 7 toothbrushes? If you have successfully stolen 2 40oz of malt liquor, don't taunt the cops, dude.
How much did this guy have to drink, that he urinated on himself 3 separate times; before he got stopped, on his way and at jail?

Episode 13

2009-02-21T23:59:00.002-06:00

Episode 13.
Mike finds out that it's probably not a wise idea to start drinking at 5 when the show is at 10. True confessions. Greatest Craigslist posting ever. Chimpanzees are animals, plain and simple. Gotta put on my dancing leg. So what if I got bit by a snake at Wal Mart, can't beat those prices. And much more.

Episode 12

2009-02-14T23:59:00.002-06:00

This is not a 'bromance'. The guys discuss the definition of welfare. If your loved one gets you flowers, don't ask where they got them from... it's Valentine's Day-- just be grateful. Urine therapy is not really therapy. What is anarcho-socialism?
SWORDFIGHT!

Episode 11

2009-02-07T23:59:00.002-06:00

Chess playing, quesadillas and knife fights. Convenience store robbing Klingons. Utah is messed up. Keith is a Christian Bale tirade virgin. Oh it gets messy, folks.

Episode 10

2009-01-31T23:59:00.002-06:00

Episode 10. Double digits. If you could do black magic, would you turn yourself into a goat? Best way to not wear your wife's pantyhose, stop cutting your toenails! How bout them apples?!

Episode 9

2009-01-24T23:59:00.001-06:00

Episode 9

Episode 8

2009-01-17T23:59:00.002-06:00

Joining Keith & Mike on this episode were Stella & Johnny. Probably not a good mixture as I'm feeling a bit roughed up today.

Topics:

Saint Louis wins top honors for the second year in a row. A 22 year old virgin is auctioning her flower away. Buy one get one free. Crockett and Tubbs steal a television. And divorce is never the answer for your money problems.

Episode 7

2009-01-11T23:59:00.000-06:00